Thursday, November 19, 2009

Thy Brother’s Keeper

“Being thy brother’s keeper”, so often we have heard this term, whether in the biblical sense or in our everyday lives. Yet it is a saying not too often practiced to many of us detriment.

What does it really mean to be thy brother’s keeper? In my opinion I think it means uplifting each other when we fall, carrying the burden when it becomes to heavy for them to bear; even as simple as bringing joy to a saddened soul.

However, what is mostly practiced is selfishness and a sub-conscious desire to hurt others, and pulling down thy brother or sister. Either in an attempt to keep them from surpassing you, to keep them at the level you are at, or to keep them from reaching your level. Whatever the reason may be it doesn’t make it right.

Maybe that person feels threatened by competition, could be lack of self esteem, or some inner hurt caused by a past experience why they feel the need to do so. As the saying goes “misery loves company”.

Ironically, what many do not realize is that collaboration is better in achieving anything than competition. Collaboration enables a common goal to be achieved quicker, greater quality and with greater desirable results. Collaboration builds character and cohesiveness amongst the people involved (it may sound corny and cliché, but it doesn’t take away from it being true). Collaboration builds pride, trust and compassion, which is important in the betterment and furthering of any nation or community.

Competition is good, if it’s in a healthy sense, where you strive to become the best at what you do, and nothing is wrong with that. Where competition becomes unacceptable is when one becomes so competitive to the extent they feel the need to pull down others in order to be seen as the best; which in a sense doesn’t really make you the best, it just puts you ahead of everyone else. In the end whoever may have been dragged down, but they will still be the better than you are.

Bearing others burden shows them that there is still someone who cares and that love really does still exist in the world; again sounds corny but there is still great truth to it.

Understanding and helping rather than criticizing and scrutinizing help us all to realize a nation we can be proud to be a part of, and it helps to uplift not only the people but the overall nation as well. Just think if everyone were to uplift instead of bringing down, then instead of one person reaching the top, only to be quickly replaced by another eventually, if we were all to rise together then we will all be at the top and as such things will be better. It may be slower than if we went at it ourselves, but in the end it is more rewarding for all to be at the top.

I read an article the other day and in it the writer stated, “Real leaders don’t point out the wrong, but find ways to make it better”.

I urge us all to leaders, uplift our brothers and sisters and be each other’s keeper.

All the Best.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Making the Right Decisions (Being Business Smart)

“Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” Who could ever really say no to that? Everyone wants to be rich, whether for personal gain or otherwise we all like the thought of having a bit of money piled up in our bank accounts.

However, many do not know or understand the basic principles it really takes to obtain riches.

Becoming rich or for those who want more, wealthy, is a nice thought, but do you really have the discipline to endure the sacrifice it is going to take to get to that goal? Before you think about how you want to come across many riches, ask yourself if you are ready for the many hardships and struggles that will come and is needed before you begin seeing a single cent.

The wonders of cable television have led most to believe that riches is denoted by flashy jewelry, fast cars, or popping champagne bottles in the club all weekend, and it exemplifies this through music videos (not rap music but all music). Ladies and gents sadly I am hear to announce that this is an illusion, if anything that depiction is the complete opposite of what “rich” really is or how it is acquired.

With that being said, there are a few basic principles that most, if not all, follow in order to obtain riches, and it all begins with Making the Right Decisions.

Firstly…sacrifice. This is the step that most fail at, simply because of the inability to give up the lifestyle one currently indulges in. Ironically, ones lifestyle has to become less than it is now in order for it to become better in the future. You have to spend less than you are now and enjoy less of the things you are use to. “Pour example” (for example), less groceries at the supermarket; no more Friday night hangouts with your friends that require you to spend unnecessarily; fewer or no night outs at the clubs; no more indulging at lunch time at that fancy restaurant you love so much. Now it’s homemade sandwiches and leftover dinners for you. Basically, the point is you must now move from a life of want to a life of need, only spend on absolute necessities. If your clothes aren’t torn there is no need for new ones (same goes for the shoes ladies).

Just so you know: if you are unable to apply this first principle then it’s pretty much pointless to read on. Discipline is key in obtaining any form of riches or anything good in life for that matter. Whether on a level of content or ultimate satisfaction, just ask the many who already have it and you’ll see, what it began with is sacrifice and discipline.

With the extra money now available at your disposal this is where you must now take that money and turn it into savings. It is important to note you will not see the extra money if you minimize spending on one aspect of your life and maintain or increase on another. The sacrifice has to be right throughout, not taking up new expenses, and effort must be made to distinguish that money as money to be saved ONLY, and not spent, not even for necessities. “It’s okay, we don’t need the loaf of bread this week, we still have some crackers left over” (sacrifice and save).

The next principle is investing, and investing wisely. People Lotto is not investing nor is any get-rich-quick scheme. Investing entails an advised business decision (like owning your own business) where the risks are calculated. Meaning, that there is a strategic plan, research has been done on the business’ feasibility and market, and the right people included, ensuring the greatest possible chance for success. In a sense, not foolishly throwing money away without knowing in greatest detail what you are getting into.

You should also develop the habit of investing small and aiming for big returns. Just because you have the money to invest doesn’t mean you should throw it all away in one investment. Try your hand at one thing with as little capital as is needed. That way even if the business fails you won’t be left in a state of bankruptcy, but still have enough to survive for a few more months, and some to invest in another venture that may work for you. Common business principle: spend the least and expect the most.

Now here’s the final and trickiest part. Once the business or your investment starts booming what is the first thing most people will do? Go out shopping, spending elaborately on latest cars, clothes, house and any other expense that is completely useless and completely unnecessary.

A wise businessman/woman knows the importance of ‘turning over’ profit. This means taking the excess money that has been made from your business and putting it back into the business or in another investment to ensure that there is a consistent flow of money coming in and out of your business (cash flow). Then once this has been done, taking that increased profit ‘turning’ some of it again and saving some as your accumulated ‘wealth’, so to speak.

It can be further explained in a model I came up with called the ‘Saving to Spending Ratio (SSR)’, but that’s for another day. It basically explains that an increase in money earned, can allow you to slowly amass wealth by maintaining your current lifestyle or spending habits even as your bank account grows. It is a principle that can be applied even to employees who may have gotten a promotion or an increase in salary, where the spending habits remain the same even though there is a salary increase.

There are greater depths to business and business principles that one needs to know in order to become greatly successful and wealthy, but with those outlined above at least you will be on your way to realizing the dream of those millions. However, be aware that money doesn’t equal happiness, it’s simply a means to make life a bit easier to live.

By the way, did I mention those annoying rainy days?

All the Best.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Making the Right Decisions (Relationships)

“How do I know if they are the one for me?” It’s an age old question that has plagued us all since the initiation of courting. Truth is you can’t; you will never be able to tell if the person you are interested in is the right person for you, not initially at least. So the best thing to do is take a chance and jump right in.

However, before you jump without your diving equipment let me introduce you to a few principles to help you with deciding who “the one” is.

One of the most common mistakes made by many in getting involved in a relationship is impatience, the inability to take the time to get to know the person in order to see if they are the best thing for you, best thing at that time, and the best for the type of relationship you are looking for.

Getting to know the person does not mean knowing what their likes and dislikes are, or knowing that they like the colour green, or knowing which fast food restaurant they like to eat from. It means getting to know the person on an intimate (not sexually) and personal level, where you feel so connected to the person that it is as if you are family or best friends; keep in mind this is during the courting and dating stage, not during the relationship (just so you know: just because you are good as friends doesn’t mean you’ll be good in a relationship). The point is not to know more so you can get closer to the person, the point is knowing as much about the person, the good and the bad, so that you are better able to make a conscious and rational decision on whether or not this person is the one for you. Most times what is done is we are exposed to the good and jump in without getting to know the bad as well Hence, when the bad starts to surface we are caught in a state of shock and disbelief, and certain expectations for the relationship are now dwindled to nothing more than a physically attraction, if so much. When you are exposed to both sides then it is now up to you to decide to accept the person despite their faults, or just admitting it is too much for you and move on. For it is with the acceptance of the bad that you will better be able to weather the storms of the bad times, since you would have already known what you are getting yourself into. The bad times are usually the test of the relationship’s strength, and if it is really worth the trouble…not the good.

Feelings are important, but most times feelings can quickly cloud your better judgment without you realizing it. Whichever situations you enter into always has to have a balance of both the logical and emotional. Give yourself enough to feel strongly about the person that you want to know more about them and get closer to them, but on the same note being cognizant enough to know when to detect the warning signs of a bad relationship and immediately remove yourself from the situation.

One of the principles that I find works in trying to decide if the person you are attracted to is the one for you is asking yourself this question, “Can I see myself being with this person for the rest of my life? i.e. getting married and enduring until “death do us part”. Many may see this as being a bit too much to be thinking about for a relationship, especially if it is young. However, ask yourself, isn’t the point of one getting into a relationship with someone is to have a lasting, fulfilling life with that person? So if not to live a fulfilled lasting life that you can share with the person, then what is it you are getting into the relationship for? It’s not that you are thinking about getting married to the person at the time, it’s just to help you make a decision you will not regret later on, should that become the case.

Another principle is asking yourself, “Why do I want to be with this person? What is it about this person that separates them from everyone else?” The common misconception is they do things to make you feel good or do things that no one has done for you. Anyone can make you smile and laugh. Anyone will go out of their way for you if they care about you. Anyone will get up 1 p.m. in the middle of the night, come all the way over to your house and hold you when you are scared. Also, anyone can give you the best sex you ever had. These things do not count. What I am referring to is someone who has a particular trait or characteristic that is either non-existent in others or is a rarity. Something that they possess about them that almost no one has or could ever have; because this person is someone you will consider to be special, so they should have a special trait about them that gives you a reason why you would choose them out of everyone else. Search for someone who can add value to your life, who can make you a better person than you are now, and who you can do the same for.

One final principle to follow is, weighing the pros and the cons. Even the simplest of them should be weighed, no matter how trivial and insignificant it may seem. Remember, it is usually the small things that lead to big problems and not the big ones. Measure them and see which weighs more. Not in terms of numbers and amount, but in terms of which carries more weight. For example a man who may not be able to take you to trips around the world, may not be able to buy you the nicest things, doesn’t dress the nicest, and doesn’t take the time to groom that much when he goes out. Yet he cares about you more than even your closet friend ever would, and goes out of his way to ensure your happiness before his…that’s a keeper ladies. A lady who doesn’t have the most beautiful face or figure, or may not dress so that her man can pose with her; yet, she has always been there for you through the good and bad, a woman like that is irreplaceable gents. These are the signs of someone who will truly love you no matter who you are or what you have in your life, they love you for you and nothing else.

On the same note, know that love isn’t enough; it is the most important element, but not the only important one. For if the cons outweigh the love then it is pointless to get involved in such a relationship.

The reason many relationships end up failing is because people get into them for the wrong reasons, do not get into one because you are trying to fill a void left by a past relationship. Do not get into one because the person who you want is unavailable so you cling to the next best thing. Do not get into one for companionship. Do not get into one because you enjoy spending time with the person, which at times is simply a spur of the moment feeling that will easily diminish over time. Do not get into a relationship for the sake of getting into one or because your friends are in one so you have to be in one as well.

This is a topic that can’t be discussed in one posting, but this should be enough to help you along your way.

Remember relationships aren’t a “test and go” experiment, neither is it a competition of numbers, it is to share important aspects of your life with someone you love, can confide in and who will forever be there and accept you for the good and the bad, yet correct the bad to help you grow into a better person.

All the Best.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I Am Not...

The following piece is copyrighted, in order to re-post or use this poem please seek permission from the writer (Winston A. Henderson)

Who am I, where am I, what am I?

Who am I is who I choose to be

Where am I is where my free spirit takes me

What am I is whatever I dare dream to be

Confused, diffused is your conscious state

Lacking mental weight to see my conscious face

Consciously I am nothing what you chose for me

But what I chose to see is my own individuality

You tell me to stop, say that I cannot

But how dare you tell me to be the things I am not

I am not the mirrored image of your perfect society

I am not the worker bee you desire me to be

I am not factory made, hence I am not a drone

I am not another, therefore I am not a clone

I am not a subject to serve your belief system

I am not a slave within your mental prison

I am not dumb, I am not blind, neither of those am I

I am not the timid voice which can be easily denied

So you say I have no class, hence I am outclassed

A perfect contrast, so I’m considered an outcast

Yet you wear masks to hide your true past

But even hidden my beauty you cannot outlast

At times seen as more yet considered as less

More than the best, but nothing like the rest

So try as you may to realize my dismay

For this is the day I shall say No way!

No how, no more, for in the clouds I will soar

Born to be the best like no one before

I will sing, I will shout, then without a doubt

You will hear the great thunder when I open my mouth

Take a look into my eyes, then with no surprise

You will realize greatness in its greatest prime

But then again…

More profound than average women and men

More than a mere human, I am something like a legend

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Depression: Your Oppression

Depression-“A condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.” As provided by

Breaking down the definition a clearer meaning would be “A condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal;” which means a state of unhappiness that affects you overall or in every respect that leads you to feel apprehensive towards or isolated from others; “sadness greater and more prolonged that that warranted by any objective reason” which means the overwhelming feeling of unhappiness lasts longer because the cause of the unhappiness is personal.

Before I get into this topic I would like to state I do not have a degree or training in psychology or psychiatry. Hence, I will humbly be the first to admit I do not have knowledge or expertise in the area of depression as it relates to both fields. However, what I do have is many years of experience in informal counseling and providing advice on personal issues whenever asked by friends, family and at times strangers. Through observing common trends and patterns from these experiences, it has led me to deduce and formulate a theory as to why people experience depression.

There are two types or two causes of depression that I have observed which I call ‘Causation Depression’ and ‘Situational Depression’. In essence people become depressed either because of an incident that occurred that led them to become depressed or because of their current position in life that is unsatisfactory. Causation Depression happens when something tragic happens in our lives. That tragedy could be loss of a loved one, failure to achieve a particular goal attempted, or anything directly linking what happened to us becoming depressed; something happens, we become depressed, cause and effect. This form of depression is more recognizable, measurable and pertaining to something in particular that has gone wrong in our lives. However, Situational Depression is a lot more generic, random and at times the cause may not be measurable or easily identified. It occurs when our condition or our life is at a state or position that we are dissatisfied with. Taken over by overwhelming unhappiness, we feel as if of our lives and ourselves have no worth, value or sense of fulfillment. At times we may not be immediately aware of the “why”, so it is difficult to identify the solution. This in turn causes low self esteem and self confidence, which ultimately leads to depression.

Both can be interrelated depending on the situation you are faced with. However, both incline different methods and approaches in dealing with. With Causation Depression, depending on the severity, the only way to get over it is by letting time take its course. Talking about what depresses you, or merely venting about anything related or unrelated is one of the best therapies there is. So forget about pills or any quick fixes you think will help fill the void or replace the unhappiness because they won’t. As I said all it needs is time to heal, and nothing can replace that because time cannot be forced. Since this form of depression is a lot more intense and emotional than the Situational, it would be best to surround yourself with people of positivity who can help to uplift and bring joy. Also, doing activities that brings happiness, which helps to get through, not get over, the depressing period. Situational Depression, though more generic, is a lot easier to rid ourselves of. As mentioned it occurs because there is a feeling of lacking value or worth. That value and worth can be found by doing that which brings fulfillment. Focusing on areas that you are interested in or passionate about, and by doing this, one will excel and achieve greatly. With this self confidence and esteem will be boosted, and a feel of worth and purpose will now be established. If we are in a position (career, job, relationship etc.) where we have no interest or dislike altogether we will not put out our greatest effort and only mediocrity will result; mediocrity leads to loss of self worth. Do what brings fulfillment to you that you are good at and immediately you will realize a change for the better in how you feel about your life and your worth. Also, you will slowly but surely realize progression in your life and have a sense that your life is actually heading into a direction you can be proud of and happy with.

It is said that depression is at times caused by biological occurrences. That it can be affected by an imbalance in chemicals in our brain or hormonal levels. In my opinion, though this may be true, it still leads back to the fact of being in a particular mental state, and as I have always said: if one is able to control their mindset and increase mental strength, then you will be able to control your emotional state. Most of what happens to our bodies is greatly affected by what goes on in our minds, going back to the simple yet effective saying “Mind over Matter”. Pointing back to the fact that the mind is so powerful that it can control what our bodies do or feel, whether on a conscious or unconscious level.

Know that depression is merely an emotion controlled by our state of mind, and because of this if we focus on and do that which is positive and uplifts us we can rid ourselves of it in time; taking back control of our mindset and our lives.

All the Best.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Attacking your Fears

Fear- “a distressing emotion aroused by impending (coming) danger, whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.” Definition as provided by

So if we break down the definition firstly we see the word ‘distress’ which means anxiety or an uncomfortable disturbance in our emotional and mental state. ‘Impending’ means the danger hasn’t even come or manifested yet. “Whether the threat is real or imagined”, which means it may not even exist, just a state of the mind fabricating a non-existing threat…unreal. “The feeling or condition of being afraid”, which means the feeling which is controlled by our state of mind; hence, we are afraid because our mind says we are afraid and not that there is anything to be afraid of.

I’m pretty sure I could stop here and you could easily deduce where I’m about to go with this. Just for the fun of it I’m going to talk about it anyway. Why are we afraid, controlled by fear? Is it because there is really anything to be afraid of? Nope. Is fear a state of mind or feeling that we can’t control? Nope. The truth is fear exists because we allow it to exist, fear holds power and control over us because we allow it have power and control over us. In reality fear has no power other than the power we give to it, because fear is a state of mind, and states of the mind (emotional states) can be control by the individual who controls the mind.

Most people are afraid to face their fears because they are afraid the result confronting that fear will yield. Do you have a fear of failure, fear to realize the truth, fear to take that business or personal (relationship) risk, fear of letting go, fear of admitting that you are wrong (pride)? Many believe that facing their fears is too scary to come to grips with or that it will upset the balance of their “comfortable and predictable” lives. They are accustomed to a particular pattern and anything other than that which they are accustomed will be seen as next to death. It is as if confronting the fear is signing your death wish. If you fear failure then you can never succeed; if you fear the truth then you will lead a life oppressed by lies…mislead; if you fear risks then you will never find the rewards life offers: if you fear letting go then how will find that which is more fulfilling than what you had before; if you fear admitting to the wrong then how will you know the gratification of when you’re truly right.

Fear is usually the negative influence that hinders us from growing into a better person or leading a more fulfilled life, reaping greater rewards life has to offer us. Fear exists only in the mind and nowhere else, which means you can have control over it. It prevents us from greater experiences, learning greater things, becoming a greater person, releasing inner hurt and pain, leading a life of greater value and appreciation. The common mistakes are thinking by suppressing the fear, pushing it from our conscious to sub-conscious it will go away, but it never will. Thinking if we leave it long enough it will solve itself, but it never does. Why then is it you are still plagued by that which you fear? It never goes away, only remains waiting for the opportunity to haunt you once again, laughing at your misfortune. If you think dealing with fear other than confronting it will solve the problem you are fooling yourself.

One has to learn to attack their fear, otherwise we will never truly be rid of it. Attacking your fear differs from confronting them. Confronting your fear is simply identifying, and recognizing them as a hindrance, facing them and taking passive steps to deal with them. However, sometimes that’s not enough, sometimes it’s difficult to truly face that which terrifies you, sometimes you have to literally wage war against fear. So what you have to do is attack it. Go at it with a swinging axe and sword before it has the chance to attack you first. You have to be militant, beat it down, rip it apart, show it that you’re not afraid and that it should be afraid of you, afraid to even come near you ever again. When you realize that you are fearful of something that should become your driving force and motivation to attack. You have to make up your mind that you don’t want fear to keep you from success, or happiness, or fulfillment, or peace of mind, which let me tell you is the one of, if not the most, beautiful gifts anyone can have in this life.

Know the first step is always the hardest and most painful. However, once you have made that first step you will be released and the healing or prosperity will slowly start to take root so that your life can grow into a greater beauty than you could ever imagine possible.

All the Best.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Know Your Greatness

Many believe that greatness, becoming great or accomplishing great things is only limited to a special few and select. That somehow God chose these people specifically to become great, and greatness is achieved by few and unattainable by most.

To be honest I believe that isn’t true. I believe greatness exists in all of us, I believe we can all be considered great in one way or another. I believe our greatness is lying dormant within us at this very moment, waiting for us to release it inward out. Your greatness is waiting for you to accept it, so it is time you accepted that we are all men and women of greatness.

If you consider yourself less than you are you will be seen and treated as such. This is a concept many people do not realize. If you stand tall on your pedestal then no one can reach you to pull you down to their level, think of yourself as such and you will raise yourself to a level of greatness. However, if you think you are beneath greatness, beneath your worth and beneath others then they will see you as being below them and will stomp you beneath their feet.

If you accept that your life and your value is one of mediocrity it will manifest as such, as I mentioned before there is great power in thought, for what you think so it shall become. If you think you are beautifully great, your grace and beauty will show to its highest degree. If you believe you are creatively great then you will excel with immense creativity in anything you strive to accomplish or achieve.

Many people fail to see or understand that they are indeed extraordinarily great simply because they lack self realization. Self realization, in a basic sense, is knowing who you are, what you are worth and what you can accomplish, discovering yourself. Self realization is one of the most fulfilling experiences life could ever possibly offer. When one enters this process and sees it through to the end, it is as if you feel the power to control the world and bend the very universe you exist in to your will. With self realization you now understand that you have limitless power, and you are worth far more than you could ever fathom or imagine. It’s having a God-like complex without the supernatural capabilities and powers of God. No amount of words written here can describe this feeling, one has to experience this wonder for themselves. Then with self realization comes self actualization: you now showing, sharing and displaying this greatness you have now found to the world to your highest capability, creativity, and potential.

Know, and get this deeply rooted in your head: There is no standard or definition for greatness. Greatness doesn’t mean becoming the first Black President of the United States of America like Obama; greatness doesn’t mean being renowned worldwide for producing some of the greatness music the world has ever known like Bob Markey; greatness doesn’t mean being able to run 9.58 seconds and being declared the fastest man alive like Usain Bolt; greatness doesn’t mean being recognized as one of the greatest scientific minds the world has ever known like Albert Einstein; greatness doesn’t mean beginning and leading the revolution that became the change for the rights of Black people like Marcus Garvey or Malcolm X; greatness doesn’t mean…well, you get the point. Greatness simply means being damn good at what you do, and doing it in your own way and to your utmost capability. These people are great because they have a passion for what they do and as a result they do it astonishingly well. These people are great because they do not allow society to dictate or define who they are and what they can accomplish. Find out what you are good at and excel at it, this will be your greatness. Own it, celebrate in it, and let the world know of it, and no one can take that away, I promise you this.

This, my fellow men and women is the reason greatness exists in all of us, because we are all great in our own way, it’s just a matter of us now letting the world know of it.

Do no accept or lower yourself to mediocrity, for anything that is below your worth is mediocrity (even if it considered great by others), practice your greatness, and even try to become greater than you already are.

All the Best.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

In the Pursuit of Happiness

I felt the need to write this article based on one I recently read. The overall idea the writer has is that happiness is an illusion that doesn’t really exist. It is something that has been thrown to us to keep us from realizing the elusive fact that life is miserable and thinking positively or trying to obtain happiness as a result of positive thinking is unreal.

She starts out with the question, “Is this endless pursuit of happiness just making us all miserable?” One of the comments thereafter started “This is the stupidest article I have read in a very long time”, and that was one of the nicer comments.

My article is for those who may see things the same; so let me take the time to clear this misconception caused by YOUR delusion.

Firstly, get it out your head that happiness can be pursued. This seems to be the basis that many people use, thinking that they can obtain happiness this way, a common mistake I’m beginning to realize many people make. Also get this in your head: happiness is not metaphysical (supernatural), it is not tangible (something that can be physical held or touched), it is not the embodiment of something or someone, nor a divine work of God that only the select few can obtain or experience. Happiness is not outward, but comes from within. Therefore, why do people think they can pursue something that does not exist in a physical form? More so something that they already have…how do you pursue something that is already yours?

Happiness is a state of mind, a feeling, an emotion. Happiness is something that exists in all of us; we only have to take the time to notice that it is there. People who are happy are that way because they understand that you and you alone can make yourself happy, and it doesn’t come about from possessions, friends, family, intimate relationships, or wealth. This is a common, so very common, misunderstanding people have. I have realized that the reason for this is most people observe those who are happy or seem to be that way. This means all they see is what is on the outside, and what is depicted on the outside is money, fame, success, possessions, or a pretty happy relationship with someone the other person loves. They in turn interpret this to mean that these are the things that make these people happy, hence where the pursuit comes into play, trying to obtain what the “happy people” already have in order to be happy.

NO! “Happy People” are happy because they do what makes them happy and what makes “happy people” happy won’t necessarily make you happy, so stop trying to obtain what “happy people” have. Did you follow that? If you didn’t let me take the time to break down how one can truly experience happiness. Now keep in mind, happiness is a state of mind, not physical, and cannot be pursued. In order to be happy find out what makes you happy; not having something or having someone, but doing something in your life you enjoy that brings fulfillment, adds value and purpose to your life. Something that every time you are doing it, pursuing it, maybe a goal, it brings about a breath of fresh air, peace of mind and a smile to your face. Once you have identified it, now you use the power of positive thinking to pursue it, (see how positive thinking works in previous article “A Positive Mind Equals a Positive Life”). Then once you have succeeded at what you are pursuing this is where happiness manifests itself. So, in a sense happiness is a manifestation or byproduct of doing something you enjoy and brings fulfillment, and that is how it is truly obtained.

So let’s recap to clear any unwanted uncertainties: happiness cannot be pursued, happiness is not physical or metaphysical, and happiness cannot be brought about by obtaining possessions (having something or being with someone you believe will make you happy). Happiness does exist, happiness can only be brought about by Y-O-U, and happiness already exists within you so there’s no need to go out searching hopelessly for it. Find something that adds value, purpose and fulfillment to your life, pursue that, and happiness will reveal itself to you.

Learn how to have nothing at all in this world and still be happy. For once you have mastered this art you will find that you don’t need anything or anyone to be happy, all you need is you.

All the Best.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A Positive Mind Equals a Positive Life

Have you ever tried to get things going your way only to fail at it and become demotivated? How many times have you tried over and over at a goal only to get the same disappointing result only to think “what’s the point”? How about always feeling lost, depressed, or sad because your life seems to have no real meaning? Even worse when you try to overcome it and it never seems to work.

If what was mentioned sounds like you remotely or completely then you’re simply suffering from a common trait that we all have in common…being human. None of these feelings, thoughts or emotions is uncommon, and despite what many may believe you are not alone. We all experience one or most of these from time to time. If we didn’t then we really wouldn’t be human; to be frank any negative thought or feeling that you may experience is natural because we are human, and humans have feelings of doubt and despair at times.

Then why does it seem to affect some and not others? Simply put, their mindset is what makes the difference; as a matter of fact it’s the only thing that can make that difference. Friends cannot, family cannot. Not even the very much qualified therapist that charges so much to have you talk with him/her can, it is all you and your mindset.

People with a positive mindset demonstrate positive attitudes, and will forever lead positive lives. Not because their life is in a better position than yours, not because of greater success or more money, or because they have the best friends and family support than you do, they simple do because of mindset. These people know that we all go through depressing, disappointing times. They know that it will come to haunt them at some point. However, they also know the difference between allowing themselves to be a victim of depression and disappointment, or of circumstance, and getting back up with a smile and a “never quit” attitude. They know that bad things happen to good people, and they know to accept that, cry if necessary, and move on. They don’t make excuses for any bad situation they encounter, and think “I can’t do anything about it”, “I’ve tried and can’t do it”, “I’m not strong enough” or “It’s too hard for me to do”. They know that this attitude and negative mindset GETS YOU NOWHERE, so STOP MAKING EXCUSES to justify how you feel and why you sit doing nothing about it. Now continue to drill this into your head: mindset, mindset, mindset, don’t stop until it is all you can think about and focus on it.

Now how do you, not anyone else but Y-O-U change your mindset? It’s really simple so you don’t need to put it on your “Things to Do List” all that is required is deciding you want to change your circumstance. You want to control that, and even though you are human and will experience sadness, depression and disappointment, it will not influence how you choose to live your life and will not control your mood or state of mind; most importantly it will not make you give up. Next you must remove EVERY negative thought, even when they come around recognize them and immediately dismiss them, speak against them, rebuke them with holy water if you have to, just get rid of them. Easier said than done I know, but it is possible. You have to condition your mind in order for this change to take effect and be consistent. It will not be an overnight change, so don’t get depressed or frustrated if it doesn’t happen right away. As with any good or bad habit it takes practice. Every time you feel depressed shake it off and tell yourself that you refuse to feel this way anymore because you don’t want to; think of positive thoughts or memories, something to make you smile, get up and get out. Move to an area or person that will bring about positive energy and good vibes you can ‘feed’ off if it’s difficult to accomplish on your own. Every time you fail to achieve a goal you’ve set, brush yourself off, get up and go again; remember: failure is always necessary for success, because that’s how you learn to do it better the next time around. Every time things may not go how you want them to just remember: life is like that, things will not always go our way, but with a positive mindset you will learn never to quit until it does. Once you learn how to master the art of positive thinking you will feel more uplifted and you will realize that your life will take a turn for the better because you have decided it must. It’s not that your situation has improved, it’s just that because you have now developed the art of positive thinking you will not notice the negatives and focus only on the positives; hence everything around you becomes positive.

By changing your mindset from constantly negative to constantly positive you will now have the power to control your attitude, no bad omen or element can ruin your day, your mood, or your life. You may not be able to always control the outcome but you control the destiny. You are in control of Y-O-U and no one can and will ever be able to take that away. Invite and embrace positivity and positive will follow. Remember that emotions (how we feel) are all states of the mind and control our actions. If we think and entertain negative, negative energy will flow and everything in life will seem as that. If we think and entertain only positive, then positive energy will flow and everything in life will seem positive.

Our mind and body can only hold so much, so if you fill your mind with positive then there will be no room for negative thoughts to enter. You are stronger than you think; don’t think you are, know you are. All you have to do is change your mindset from negative to positive.

All the Best.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Power of a Dream

Ever had a dream? Ever wanted to do something that you were so passionate about that you would stay awake for hours each night thinking about it; how to get it done, what to do, and how to do it? I have and I know what it feels like.

The only thing worst than trying to live your dream and failing is not trying to live it at all. Imagine waking up one day to the realization that your life has ended or is coming to its end, and you spent your entire life living for something you had no interest in doing in the first place, and no passion for; you think death is worst? You should try doing this.

Everyone, no matter how young or how old, cultural difference or belief has a dream. So the question is why aren’t most people out there living theirs? It could be that you think the dream is silly, no one will support or encourage it, but instead will laugh at the mere thought of it. It could be that you’re afraid of trying because the idea of failing seems somewhat unbearable. It could be that you can’t find the time and that you’re too pre-occupied trying to pay the bills and can’t be caught up with the ‘childish hope’ of having a dream. Whatever the reason, or before you agree that “hey that one sounds like me”, let me break it down for you. Firstly, you should know that any dream that is unique and shows imagination and creativity will be seen as silly or downright stupid, so prepare yourself to be ridiculed, but that’s okay. It’s your dream and no one else’s, you don’t need approval to have it or to live it, and if that’s not enough to convince you then there’s the simple proven fact that every great idea, invention, creation, discovery started out being ‘a stupid dream’. Secondly, in life there are risks, simply stepping outside your doors to go to that job you hate so much is a risk, there’s no guarantee that you will go to work to find yourself still in a job or even that you will live to see another day, so we’re taking risks everyday without even being conscious of it. So why should it be so hard to take this risk when the rewards are so fulfilling? Failure is inevitable in anything you wish to accomplish in life there has to be failures, why? Because the more you fail the more you learn to do it better the next time, the more you fail the closer you are to getting it right the next time, the more you fail the more you learn from the experience, and the more you fail the more you learn to appreciate the sweet thrill of success when it comes along, but if you don’t try and fail how can you succeed? I for one love failing, now I don’t see it as a disappointment. I see it as “this way didn’t work so I’m going to challenge myself to find a way that does, because I know I can succeed”. So you think you don’t have the time, think you’re too busy? Take the time to think about the things you do with your life on a daily basis when you’re not working or studying. Going out with friends, browsing the internet (Facebook anyone?). The truth is you have more time than you even realize, it’s just a matter of sacrificing other activities to find the time to do it, because believe me when I say if you don’t take the initiative to, no one’s going to do it for you.

Many need to realize a dream is not simply a foolish, childish thought that each of us may have. A dream isn’t just another hot air scheme to try at something new, nor is it a means to occupy your time when you are bored, that’s what hobbies are for. A dream, when there is a genuine passion for it, gives a sense of purpose, to add value to your life and makes you feel as if you are not living your life aimlessly, it gives fulfillment knowing that you can wake up everyday doing what you love and loving every second of every day of it. It puts a constant smile on your face and in your heart, but most importantly, a dream sets you free from the harsh realities of this world, to give you a place where you can finally be set free with absolutely no burden that comes with life (school, work, even personal relationships). Wake up living each day as if it’s the happiest day of your life, imagine doing that everyday.

Still not convinced, well take the time to read through this link

The sooner you understand that no one will make it possible other than yourself, the sooner the fear of failure, ridicule, or timeliness will seem irrelevant and that first step will be taken. At the end of the day all you need is that first step, don’t worry about the ‘how am I’ or ‘when can I’ or ‘what or who can I’. Once you take that first step you will realize as I did that when the first step is made everything else will simply fall into place, as if everyone and everything were just there waiting for you to make that first step.

There is more to life than struggles and hardships, pain and unhappiness. There is more to life than you having to wake up everyday of your life feeling like you have no reason to get out of bed today, there is more to life than feeling as if your life holds no value to it, as if you are just floating along on the waves of the ocean with no sense of direction and no purpose. Know that there is indeed more to life, and one of the best ways of finding out what that is will be to…

Live Your Dream.

See the poem “The Dream” in the previous post.

All the Best.